If you’re reading this, chances are you have been on multiple dates and have actually lived through a relationship or two, and although we all know how relationships can be such an amazing source of happiness, and allow you to create amazing bonds with amazing people, don’t get me even started on love, just all around pink skies and butterflies, but relationships can also be the opposite of that, as high as they can lift you up, as low as they can bring you down, it all depends on the person you choose as your partner, there are many wonderful people out there but there are also many horrible people also, one must be very careful choosing who they share their life with. You often hear on social media of people recounting stories of their experiences dating a narcissist, most of which are absolutely horrifying and blood boiling, not a good situation to be in for anybody. Stick around and find out signs that the person you are dating is a narcissist, or hopefully not!
1- One-sided conversation.
A telltale sign of a narcissist is that they always strive to dominate the conversation, no voice in the room is allowed to be as loud as their own, no opinion is more important than their own, and no point of view is as valuable as their own, they often cut you off to tell a relatable story from their side, they will dismiss your opinions and ideas simply because they don’t align with theirs, and the conversation is mostly only you listening to them talk. If it’s completely one-sided, keep an eye out for them!
2- An obsession with appearances
Narcissists are almost always perfectionists or at least like to be seen as such, narcissists strive to be perceived as the image they have of themselves in their head, they spend hours in the mirror trying to look as perfect as humanely possible, go out of their way to flex an extravagant lifestyle they aren’t really living, or display an illusory success that is nowhere near their reality, narcissists are absolutely obsessed with looking as perfect as possible in every aspect, and could go as far as faking their whole life to achieve these appearances. Be careful if you relate!
3- An inability to take criticism
As previously discussed, narcissists are absolutely obsessed with the idea of seeming as perfect as possible, so it only makes sense that they would not really do well with criticism, the narcissist brain can’t comprehend nor accept criticism, and perceives it as an offense or a challenge of character rather, narcissists are often defensive and not just dismissive of criticism, they lack any comprehension of what is constructive criticism, and anything as such will be perceived as an attack of their character and will therefore react in stingy, malicious ways, that is definitely something to keep an eye on!
4- Empathy or lack thereof
Narcissists have a weird and incomprehensible relationship with empathy, some narcissists are void of empathy while for others it’s a situational thing, it’s hard to determine this in relationships since a narcissist can show a complete lack of empathy in one situation, but actually display it in another, but one should still look for signs, for example, a narcissist is more incline to show empathy when people are watching, as means of catching attention and at the same time displaying grandiose and the illusory perfection of character they need to flaunt, all the while they would show a complete lack of empathy behind closed doors, where there is no need to put on a show for spectators.
5- Controlling behavior
Narcissists think that it’s only right that they are in control, due to the fact that they are perfect and better than everyone else, this extends into relationships as well, a narcissist is more likely to control your every behavior to fit their own narrative, they are more likely to make decisions on your behalf, what you wear, what you do, how you talk and walk and even carry yourself. Be wary of controlling behavior, it’s not at all a good sign!
6- Entitlement and validation-seeking
Narcissists are often under the impression that they’re deserving of everything, regardless of merit, it doesn’t matter if they didn’t put any effort in it, it doesn’t matter that they didn’t earn it, in their mind, they deserve it, and this translates also to validation-seeking behavior, narcissists will go out of their own way to seek praise, regardless of whether they deserve said praise or not, a narcissist will expect you to call them a good person even when they have shown you nothing but malice, and won’t comprehend why you won’t comply. It’s honestly a fascinating concept.
7- Social media addictions
This one is honestly self-explanatory, what better way of displaying a luxurious, extravagant lifestyle other than social media, social media is the perfect accessory to a narcissist, it allows them to show off a perfect lifestyle that is nowhere close to their reality and it is believable, not only that, it also has built-in likes and comments to feed his attention-seeking and validation seeking behaviors, it is honestly incredible how social media perfectly fits a narcissist’s narrative, it’s almost as if they were tailor-made for a narcissist.
8- Signs of substance abuse
It isn’t uncommon for a narcissist to display signs of addiction and substance abuse, that is true because some narcissists self-medicate with drugs and alcohol, it is important to know that a lot of these narcissists are victims of mental health issues beyond their abilities or choice, and are battling their own demons, like self-hate, anxiety, and depression, and it isn’t uncommon not only for narcissists but in general that people fall into substance abuse to deal with their crumbling mental health, sometimes all people need is a little help, or a long talk and a warm hug.