It’s not a rarity to encounter people who despite having gone through it all, having lived in the most toxic environments imaginable, suffered through all kinds of abuse but still won’t leave their abusive partners, all the signs and red flags are there but they just won’t leave, they never leave. No matter how harmful and toxic it gets, no matter how self-destructive they become, they would not even consider detaching themselves from that relationship, and that could be due to many reasons but none of them are good enough to justify staying in a relationship where both your physical health and mental health can be endangered. Stick around and find out 8 reasons why people stay in toxic relationships.
1. A FEAR OF RETALIATION.
It isn’t uncommon for safety concerns to exist in toxic relationships, many people in abusive and unhealthy relationships fear not only for their own safety but also that of their loved ones and even children, thing which can be a factor that makes it extremely hard for them to leave a said relationship. Fearing that their partner would retaliate against them or even worse against their children and loved ones, so they think it wiser to stay and appease their abuser’s wishes. Some people often even threaten their partners that they would physically hurt themselves or commit suicide in order to keep their partner from leaving them, it’s honestly an all-around horrible situation to be in.
2. A FEAR OF BEING ALONE.
So far, we can see that the trend here is fear, most people’s inability to leave their toxic partners and toxic relationships behind is fear. one of the most popular reasons that cause people to stay in a toxic relationship is a fear of being or ending up alone, the thought that a bad relationship is better than no relationship is inherently wrong, a bad relationship can be extremely detrimental for your mental health, and the worse it gets the more unhealthy attachment is created, the harder it is to leave. Unfortunately, toxic relationships breed insecurity, and insecurity, in turn, breeds fear of being alone and thus not being able to leave the aforementioned relationship, it’s an unescapable vicious cycle of self-destruction.
3. A FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN.
Continuing in the theme of fear, as it seems to be the number one reason for people to stay where they absolutely shouldn’t, the fear of the unknown isn’t something new to any of us, we have all at one point in our lives, felt overwhelmed and scared at the thought of not knowing what lies ahead of us, and it’s completely normal to be afraid of the unknown, what isn’t okay is allowing that fear to hold and paralyze us, a fear of the unknown has been known to be a reason that one could stay in a toxic abusive relationship, as they panic at even the idea of leaving and having absolutely no idea what lies ahead, it’s definitely a scary transition, but anything is better than lying idle while your life is going downhill.
4. EXCUSING BAD BEHAVIOR.
Many people stuck in toxic relationships are unfortunately characterized by a traumatic childhood or have experienced severe trauma in previous relationships, it is often overlooked how parents and their relationship with each other can affect a child’s life well into his adult years, a child who grows up for the most part of his watching his father yell at and beat his mother will eventually grow up to be someone who will excuse such behavior from his partner or even from himself, and brush it off as an inevitable or even normal part of any relationship. Excusing bad behavior only leads to it getting worse, and the more you let slide, the more you WILL let slide. No means NO!
5. FEELINGS OF UNDESERVINESS.
It is honestly both fascinating and depressing to see how far down low self-esteem can drive a person, unshakable feelings of being undeserving of a healthy relationship and love will eventually drive a person to accept crumbs of what he deserves, it is obvious how low self-esteem can cause someone to stay in an abusive and unhealthy relationship, feelings of never being good enough, self-doubt and even self-hate are known to be very clouding to anybody’s judgment, insecurity is a dark room that is extremely hard to escape, and it just keeps getting darker.
6. MEMORIES OF EARLY STAGES .
You’re just getting to know each other, everything about them is fascinating, you’re trying to remember everything about them, the color of their eyes, their birthday, their favorite color, hell even their phone number, everything is going well, they give you butterflies and the dates are absolutely flowing with the conversation, yes! New beginnings are absolutely magical, every little thing about them! But they no longer exist, and they won’t somehow magically reappear. Some people stay with their abusive partners because of the memories they shared in the early stages of the relationship, some of them cherish those memories too much to let them die, others feel inclined to stay because of how much time, effort, and emotional energy they have already invested, whichever it is, chances are things are not going to change, memories will remain exactly what they are, MEMORIES!
One obvious reason why people just can’t break free from their toxic relationships and partnerships is emotional manipulation, you often hear about a person who despite having tried to leave several times, ended up going right back to their partner, an explanation for this is emotional manipulation, narcissistic manipulative abusers have a tendency to manipulate their partners in varying ways, like guilt-tripping them into staying, or having them believe they’re the best they will ever get, some go to great lengths to lower their partner’s self-esteem so they will never consider leaving them, it is a very cruel and immoral practice but it exists nonetheless, strange world we live in!
8. NOT KNOWING HOW.
It is also not uncommon to find men and women who are also unable to leave their toxic partnerships for no reason other than not knowing how to do it, sometimes all it takes is that first step, but even then that could prove extremely difficult, it’s easy for any of us to say since we are not in their situation, but it must be said that no matter how much emotional effort that first step takes, no matter how hard it is to make that first step, it is undoubtedly imperative to make it, your life will not change through you standing idle and watching it pass by you. You deserve better! DO BETTER!